Silly post, today.
I was watching American Horror Story (if you’ve seen it, shh, no Season 3 spoilers–I’ve just finished Season 2) and it occurred to me that Evan Peters is possibly one of the prettiest men alive. Not sexiest, necessarily (although personally, I love that tousled-halo-of-hair-framing-a-just-too-young-looking-face look) but by Jove, is he a pretty one. I’m sure my heart judders, every time he walks onscreen, and it got me to thinking; is it a coincidence that one of the prettiest men I’ve ever seen on TV or anywhere else, has one of the prettiest names?
I’m imagining his parents, moments after he was born, looking at his perfect features through the blood and vernix and vaginal mucus and thinking, “Good Lord! All babies are cute, but this one’s BEAUTIFUL! Are we sure he’s–yep, there it is, little male member, good to know–uhh, so, what do we call this angelic bundle? Can’t name him Rick or Butch or Hank, that’d be ridiculous… Sue would be a funny joke, but you do that with your hamster, not your son… Ashley? Nah, just a touch too girly… Pat, short for Patrick? But no, it might get shortened to Rick, and we already established the unsuitability of THAT name… I’ve got it. Honey, why don’t we call him Evan?”
It happens that way, sometimes. I was bouncing a few names back at forth with my then-husband, when my daughter was born, but it wasn’t a done deal until I looked into her little face. I looked at her, and even though she’d been SCREAMING her head off for hours at this point, I took one look at her, and thought, “Yep. Naomi–cheerful, pleasant, opposite of bitter–that’s perfect, for my girl.” And you know what? It turned out great. She just looks like a Naomi, and she is really chilled and pleasant, when she’s not still screaming her head off (7+ years later). Maybe it was like that, for Evan Peters’ folks, as well, and his name just came to them.
Of course, his name’s only a perfect fit if it means, “Strangely androgynous child-man who looks 7 years younger than his chronological age, with flawless skin and eyes like a fallen angel”. Just sayin’.